“Let me get this straight. We have a swear jar in our super secret headquarters?”
“I’m glad The Boss is finally taking steps to improve the workplace.”
“According to the chart, each swear word has a different amount attached to it. But, I’ve notice it’s lacking some words.”
“What words are those?”
“Wop, cock, cunt, pussy, spic, and the one I can’t believe isn’t on there.”
“And what swear word is that?”
“Nigger.”
“You can’t put the n-word up on the chart.”
“Why? It’s just a word.”
“But, it’s a horribly offensive word.”
“It’s not any worse than most of the words of the chart. Now, I think that both nigger and nigga should be added. Now, nigga should be less money because it’s the more laid back version. People use it to greet one another, so it’s the socially acceptable version too. Nigger ends in a hard sound, which gives it a malicious quality. Ah is a nice smooth sound, a lot easier on the ears. Er is like a verbal stabbing, with its sharp sound.”
“There is no difference. It’s just the same word pronounced two different ways. Look, it’s a racial slur; it attacks the very being of a person. I shouldn’t have to explain this to you, Downard.”
“Hey Kevin, you’re black, let me ask you something. Shouldn’t nigger be on the swear chart. And also shouldn’t nigger and nigga be two separate entries on the chart with two different dollar amounts?”
“Did you just say; nigger?”
“Yes.”
“How dare a little white boy like you say that word to me.”
“I wasn’t calling you a nigger, I just said the word nigger. Now, nigger’s a pretty bad swear, so I’m thinking that it should be just as much as the f-word.”
“Quit saying nigger!”
“How can I talk about the word nigger without saying it?”
“You shouldn’t be talking about it in the first place, honky.”
“I’m just saying that nigger should be on the swear chart.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
“That’s five dollars.”
“I’m not putting five dollars in the damn jar, bitch. Especially, since this asshole has got me pissed off.”
“Now you owe 10 dollars.”
“This whole swear jar thing has really got you both bent out of shape. I’ll lighten the mood by telling a joke. What’s the difference between a dead black man in the middle of the road and a dead dog in the middle of the road?”
“I dare you to say the punch line, dickhead.”
“That’s a dollar added to the amount you already owe. And, could you please stop swearing?”
“In regards to the dead black man; the police and the coroner will have to show up before the body is moved. Now, in regards to the dead dog; the body won’t be removed until the road crew either comes around or is called to remove the body.”
“I hope you know I hate you.”
“It looks like another joke is in order. What do you throw a drowning black man?”
“You’re going to say his wife and kids aren’t you?”
“That doesn’t make any sense. First, you’re putting additional lives in danger. Second, while people are buoyant, a life preserver would be the best possible thing. Actually, a rope might be better then that.”
“Mother fucking cunt.”
“8 more dollars.”
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