Puck foam idle skuzzy watermelon dipity doo! I’m so angry I’ve lost the ability to swear. I’m not sure if there’s a scientific scale for swearing, but if there is my losing all notion of bad words when I try to swear has to be pretty up there. Minotaur rabbi watercress sandwich! I just came from Better Purchase and they wouldn’t take my reward program certificate. I found the certificate in my neighbor’s trashcan; after I broke into their house to go through their things to make sure they are not a threat to me. But, Better Purchase doesn’t know that.
Nail gun flute!
I think it all has to do with Better Purchase’s totally unfair corporate policies. Like for instant, if the certificate has been used or is passed its expiration date they won’t honor it. That is totally Newton’s third law of thermal dynamics. That’s not my current inability to swear flaring up, I say that all the time in moments of frustration or when bowling balls drop on top of my head because of some comical contrivance. I don’t need some fancy British dead asshole to ruin my life by telling me that everything is going done the cosmic toilet and that’s there is nothing that we can do about it. In fourth grade I was going to make a perfect system. I’d be set for eternity, but my teacher had to destroy all of that with knowledge of universal laws. If my job paid well: I’d go over to London, desecrate Sir Isaac’s crypt and knock his rotted teeth out. Getting back on topic.
Let’s say that you’re an enterprising young man and you want to get a good deal on some premium electronics, but alas you have no coupons and membership card. But, your young swift handsome toned mind knows that several other people do ,in fact, have those things. Maybe you find it on the ground, or after breaking into someone’s home. Shouldn’t that person be entitled to that discount anyway, by virtue of fate? Better Purchase did care for that argument, and before I could get into how they are unfair, I was beset by overpaid and overweight security guards and had to rabbit out of there.
I’m currently having a compatriot of mine in the computer division hack into to their ordering system. Next week the shelves are going to be overflowing with copies of Speed 2, Pluto Nash, and the Pocket Fisherman’s infomercial. I’d like to see them sell that crap before inventory.
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